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Ramada

from New Leases by Model Trains

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about

genuine, actual apology. but through self-effacement, so ultimately still masturbatory and manipulative. it is deeply petty and i am certainly the bad guy here. i genuinely meant this when i wrote it, and in retrospect i could not have written a better insult to myself

lyrics

i've run out of ways to say the most obvious thing:
"i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry"
at the ramada on the plain
dancing in the hallways
it's getting boring,
this new lease is getting boring
women in tiny hats next door
get up to debauched things
i don't wanna be seen

fucked from the start
and not in the fun way
where we explode at once
and everybody's watching saying 'they're both gonna die young'

all the games i wanted to play
make you sad, make me sad, ok
it wasn't conscious, swear to god it wasn't conscious
i acted without thought
the package i had bought
i'll admit it
fully knowing, i still did it

though i will say,
it seems like misery does something for you
acting out of spite is not the same
as giving up on feeling 'poor you'

i got involved
it's my fault
for thinking that i could help at all
four whole reasons left to say
not to take this the wrong way
i know i gained
in many ways
from your pain
it's the same
it's all the same as always

so, let's be different people now
just with way more self-control

i could always blame it on the strain,
on your brain, which you are fair to be crippled by,
but only lies will get us there

at the empty continental breakfast, i had oatmeal
it's the only thing that i am gonna eat today
you took a gamble on the make-your-own-pancake station
it was disappointing as always, also you weren't there
i was alone

credits

from New Leases, released October 1, 2015

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Model Trains Calgary, Alberta

the old (2014-2018) solo work of aoife josie baker

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